Been Gone Too Long

First of all, I'm sorry it's been so long. There is no reason; I wasn't sick or on vacation, and our computer didn't blow up. For those who were enjoying the rantings of a thirty something mom, I'm honestly sorry I haven't been writing more often. (Or at all for over a month.)

Here's the thing. I fell off the wagon. Actually, fell is a bit of a misnomer, I'm thinking jumped headlong into a pit of chocolate may be slightly more accurate. You see my friends, Lent is over.

Some of you are no doubt laughing, and rightly so. I'm not laughing--I'm swearing at the Easter Bunny and his candy, oh, and my no existent self control. For 40 days I was able to avoid both alcohol and sweets, and although it was tough I managed to get through it relatively unscathed. Easter morning-candy and donuts, and that's a ditto for lunch and dinner, but throw in some ice cream for good measure and you've got the picture. Since then I've said I'm trying to stay off sweets again until the half marathon on May 1. What a joke. Between Ben's birthday, the library's 100 years of service celebration, and Nick's All About Me special treat I've been eating almost anything covered in frosting or foil (that would be candy eggs, bite size Snickers (or Butterfinger, or Crunch, or Milky Way, or Twix).

What to do, what to do. Blah, Blah to the diet crap. I've learned over the last 6 years that I can't diet with shakes or miracle pills--for me it's just another license to eat. Portion size and frequency--that's where I lose (or gain). I do this all the time; talk, talk, talk, talk, write, write, write, complain, complain, complain. And what happened? I stopped writing for over a month and I allowed myself to no longer be accountable, and the goals I'd set for myself became less and less apparent and significant.

That ends today. I tried my shorts on today, and while they fit, they are tight--two weeks ago, not so tight. The path I am currently wandering along is not where I should be headed, and seriously, I need to (sorry Rachel and mom) get my shit together. I know I could have worded it more gracefully--but it wouldn't have expressed my absolute anger and disappointment with my lack of self control. Ugh.

There's the weight rant. I've again (ugh, how annoying) committed to not eating after 7 pm---additionally, the sweets are off limits until race day. Please, I beg all of you--hold me to this--support this decision, I'd value help from any or all of you!

How about some good stuff. The running still continues to go well. I've got one long run left before the race, and I'm feeling good about where I'm at right in the training process. I'd like to run something in Michigan sometime this summer if anyone is interested give me a holler and we can try to work it out.

Thanks for bearing with me for this blog. I promise to be back with something more interesting tomorrow.

B